My life’s work has been to care for the souls of Christian leaders in the marketplace and ministry. Much is at stake in the lives of a leader, the leader’s family, and the lives of those in their spheres of influence. To be a leader has always carried risks, but it seems those risks are exponentially greater these days. Sadly, what we are currently witnessing is a broad disintegration of leadership in every corner of American life. From the halls of government to the corporate board room to the pastor’s study, Jesus’ piercing question rings loud and clear:
“For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?”
Matthew 16:26 (NRSV)
Somewhere along the way the leader, along with those who have been led, must stop and ask: “With all I’ve gained, what have I lost?”
Jesus Wept Over the Capitol of Jerusalem.
When the city came into view, he wept over it... All this because you didn’t recognize and welcome God’s personal visit.
(Luke 19:41ff)
Jesus wept over Jerusalem, the capitol of his own country. Something was deeply wrong, both politically and spiritually. Today I am weeping over my country, my capitol. I am weeping because of the disintegration of the soul of leadership. This horrific unraveling has resulted in the loss of five lives—including a member of the Capitol police—the desecration of our Capitol building, and fresh fuel thrown on the flames of hate by our current President.
I agree with bestselling author Sarah Bessy—we are in “deep trouble.” She describes “the unholy trinity of white supremacy, Christian nationalism, and patriarchy” that has converged in churches all across our country, leaving many of us disoriented and devastated. We don’t know what to do, but we do know how it feels. We’re sick. And it is the sick who need a physician.
That mob, those rioters? I may know some of them, some quite well. Reading and watching the news in recent weeks has left me depressed and powerless. I was with close friends recently who confessed they are “unashamed conspiracists.” At no point in our conversation was I invited to offer my perspective or beliefs. I just listened to them. There was absolutely nothing I could do or say to crack their airtight worldview, a perspective that has resulted in an assault on the heart of our democracy.
Where Were You, Pappy?
As I watched the news footage Wednesday of the unfolding violence in Washington, DC, my heart rose up within me in thinking about my thirteen grandchildren, some of them old enough now to watch the same horrors I watched. What happened in me in those moments was a galvanizing. I felt like my very bones were on fire and I could not be complicit or silent any longer. I knew I had to try and give words to this dark side of leadership and its reach into the lives of even my grandchildren. I had to give witness so they would know their grandfather chose to stand up and speak out, even if my words weren’t perfect.
I remember well asking my own parents who lived during the Holocaust, “Where were you then, and what did you do to help stop this horrific crime against humanity?” I could see my own grandchildren asking me a variation of that same question: “Where were you, Pappy, when those men and women stormed our nation’s Capitol? What did you do?” That possible question from my own grandchildren weighed heavy on my heart. I determined to be able to answer them as one on the right side of history.
Here is my answer. Here is what I know to be true.
Dysfunctional Leaders Lead Dysfunctional Organizations, Churches, and Nations
In my work with dysfunctional leaders, the very first step necessary when a leader is seeking help is for the leader to admit and confess their own dysfunction, their own brokenness—their own sin. This is the first and vital step of anyone who has ever recovered from anything based in the Twelve Step Movement. “Hi, my name is John and I’m an alcoholic.” In such an admission lies an invitation to be human—an opportunity to know the truth and to be truly saved from the darkness lurking in the soul. When a leader loses their humanity, the leader has lost their soul, indeed.
Naturally, some leaders are more eager than others to own and confess their mistakes. Some never will. The second step in helping a dysfunctional leader recover is to explore who, in their spheres of influence, enabled them to behave this way. Then the enablers must also own their part in the behavior called into question. When each of us understand our own roles, the power of our actions, the consequences of our language, and our dark shadows within, then and only then is there space to work, grace to be found, and restoration to be possible. Each one of us must ask this question: Have I enabled this to happen? Have I nodded ‘yes’ when my heart said ‘no’? Did I do anything? say anything? Did I object to what was happening? Could my silence be mistaken for my complicity?
The Grandiosity Must Diminish
In the television drama, “The Crown,” we witnessed the disintegration of the souls of the royal family of England. Princess Margaret was awakened through her depression and addiction to her own dark shadows. She sought help from a therapist for insight and clarity. On the way to her very first therapy session, a friend drove her to the appointment. Margaret was upset that she, being royalty, must stoop so low as to get help for her problems. Her friend offered her a stunning insight, one which I wrote down in my journal after viewing the scene: “Apparently the healing cannot start until the grandiosity is diminished.”
Princess Margaret was told something we must be told again and again. There will be no healing in our nation and our churches and our homes until the men and women who have risen to high powers of leadership diminish their own grandiosity. Where glaring pride, untamed ego, and obsession with self are found—danger and evil are always crouching at the door.
In my work with leaders, I have had a front row seat to everything from mega-church pastors to titans of industry whose lives were coming apart at the seams. They were unhealthy WHILE leading—their marriages in disarray, their staff and personnel dazed and confused, and their inner life all but shut down. The lust for power, the drive for influence, the greed for mammon (the rival god as Jesus described money), and the darker side of sex consistently show up in the counseling room or the zoom call. An unhealthy leader can cause unthinkable harm resulting in their followers doing unimaginable damage, much like we’ve witnessed this week.
The Enneagram as a Window to the Soul
At Potter’s Inn, we use the Enneagram to help leaders understand the light and dark side of their souls. We offer a week-long retreat and workshops to help leaders understand who they really are and how to grow in healthy ways. This ancient tool has proven helpful to thousands of 21st century students who want to understand the strengths and weakness of the human personality.
In their work, Riso and Hudson have brilliantly described what they call “Levels of Development”—delineated passages and stages that every soul experiences at phases of their health and unhealth. I reviewed their work again for myself last night to seek their insights for this particular time and crisis in our nation’s history. It is widely held by those who are experts in the Enneagram that President Donald Trump is an 8. When an 8 is healthy, they are amazing and effective leaders. However, when they spiral into the realms of unhealth, “all hell” can break loose. This is what Riso and Hudson say about an 8’s varying levels of unhealthy in nine different levels of dark unhealthy of the leader. Here I am including the darkest last three stages of disintegration of this personality:
Level 7: Defying any attempt to control them, become completely ruthless, dictatorial, "might makes right." The criminal and outlaw, renegade, and con-artist. Hard-hearted, immoral, and potentially violent.
Level 8: Develop delusional ideas about their power, invincibility, and ability to prevail— megalomania, feeling omnipotent, invulnerable. Recklessly over-extending self.
Level 9: If they get in danger, they may brutally destroy everything that has not conformed to their will rather than surrender to anyone else. Vengeful, barbaric, murderous. Sociopathic tendencies. Generally corresponds to the Antisocial Personality Disorder. (See their work: https:/www.ennegraminstitute.com/type-8 )
Where Do We Go From Here?
As a soul disintegrates, everyone and everything in the gravitational reach of the imploding soul is affected. “Much is at risk” is an understatement. But there is hope.
First, there must be understanding. Jesus told us that the “truth will set us free.” I believe we need a reckoning with the truth and nothing but the truth of our nation’s history—the light, the dark, all of it. We need to know what has really happened and how it has been allowed to happen. That’s the admission part that we all need to take part in. Henri Nouwen has written, “You are a Christian only so long as you constantly pose critical questions to the society you live in…so long as you stay unsatisfied with the status quo and keep saying that a new world is yet to come.” We need to realize that we can be in the world but not of the world. We can be in the church, but not of the church. There is a higher ground we must always seek to stand upon and a Kingdom that is not of this world.
Second, we must allow our dissatisfaction to become a motivational force, causing us to step up and into difficult and uncomfortable conversations with everyone from work colleagues to family members. We cannot and must not skip this step. Third, this is an invitation for us to pray—to pray for our leaders—to pray for wisdom and to pray for courage.
Fourth, this is a time for the people of God to do their part; for churches to deconstruct any doctrine and belief that may be wrong. I’m reminded of Southern churches which held to slavery and defended it in the Bible but were forced to deconstruct that wrong doctrine. What can we look at that may be more wrong than right; more threatening than healing; more selfish than godly?
Clearly, we are at a low point. But there is hope, always. Hope for our nation and our businesses and our churches and our schools and our homes. There is indeed hope for the soul of the leader---but only if we truly “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.” This is an invitation to work out what has been worked into us.
Let us stand up to wrong. Let us speak out when wrong is done. There is work to be done, hard work. It will not be quick, but it will be fruitful. I ask you to join me. Stand up and speak out. When our grandchildren ask, and they will, we want an answer they can be proud of.