Journey, Wilderness and Comfort: The Movements of the Spiritual Life

“At once, this same Spirit pushed Jesus out into the wild. For forty wilderness days and nights he was tested by Satan. Wild animals were his companions, and angels took care of him.”—Mark 1:12How is it that in one single verse, Mark explains the journey of the spiritual life? It’s fascinating to simply sit with this solitary verse recorded in Mark’s Gospel and to sense the movement, undertaking and activity that Jesus experienced. Friends, in this one, single verse, there is a great movement that needs to be understood. I say “movement” because the spiritual life is a journey from one movement or place in life to the next. We never stay static. We are invited to always to learning; always be growing and always being transformed.First, let’s recall the context of Mark’s powerful singular verse. This verse comes immediately after the wonderful story of Jesus' baptism and being told that Jesus was the “beloved of God.” That moment in the life of Jesus, and in the life of all of us who follow Jesus, is crucial and essential. We all need to hear those same words for ourselves. Each of us needs to know that we, too, are the Beloved of God. I have come to understand that,in this historical event in the life of Jesus—the entire trajectory of his life shifted. Nothing was the same for Jesus when he heard these words—and nothing for us can stay the same when we hear these same words for ourselves. Prior to this, Jesus made furniture. After this event, Jesus made people. He freed people caught up in their own web of religion and offered them freedom. He compelled people to leave their boats, their careers, their people groups and their tribes to enter a new phase—a new place and to have a new understanding of God in their lives. This was his mission. Through his teaching and his life, he offered a different way; a different truth and a different life. This is still true today.The Journey of Discovering Who We Really AreThat’s what happens when any of us hear our true identity from God about who we really are. God told Jesus who he was. Today, that same Voice tells us our true identity—that we, too, are the beloved of God. Until we know this for ourselves, we will live into the lies of life that try to convince of us three lies:

• I am what I do.
• I am what I have.
• I am what other people think of me.

These three lies form a web of sorts, that catches  and snares every person on the spiritual journey of life. By attaching our hearts to just one of those lies means that we will discover the sticky residue that each of those lies manifest in the human heart. Those lies accumulate untruth within us. These lies do great harm to our hearts. We will lean into our doing. We will acquire too much stuff and positions to prove we are really somebody. We will be co-dependent about our reasons of living is for what you will think of  me.God knows that there must be a powerful force to help us get free from such lies. These lies have wedged their way into me. They are in my story and I believe they are in your story as well. This web seems to be able to catch us off guard and in times when we thought we were “done” or “through” with that lesson or insight. For some of us, we keep on returning to re-learn the deeper truths of these same, timeless truths.Rather than beat ourselves up that we feel remedial or stupid or forever broken, we can also learn to be gentle with ourselves.  Being gentle in how we learn lessons in the spiritual life is key. There's been too much harshness imported in our teaching; too many loud voices screaming at us; too much information and too little love.What’s interesting here, is to note that the three temptations that Jesus faced in the wilderness are actually, the three temptations that Satan confronted him with. These temptations were about his identity, power and to do spectacular things in life that would hinge to his mission. But there’s more to this story.Does God push, force and drive us?Mark’s verse here tells us that the same Spirit that rested on the physical body of Jesus was now not resting but actually: “pushing,” “forcing” and “drove” Jesus out into the wilderness.  Read the verse again before you move on. We move too quickly sometimes in reading the Scriptures that we miss important insights that could actually help, free or heal us.   As you read the verse again note that these are the literal translations in the ESV, Message and Amplified versions of this verse. Jesus was pushed. He was forced. He was driven.Jesus was pushed. Jesus was forced and Jesus was driven by God’s Spirit. We may feel initially uneasy about the descriptor words about the power of the Spirit that Mark is offering us. We may prefer a softer, more gentle—way of the Spirit. But Mark uses real, tangible and powerful words to show us how God operates.  When I look at my own story; listen to hundreds of stories of modern day followers and read the ancient accounts of men and women, who through the centuries gave a written witness to their own spiritual journey here’s what I’ve discovered.There are times in our lives when we simply feel compelled, duty-bound, coerced, pressed or even forced to do something. This “feeling” that I want to attempt to describe is a sort of inner mandate that we simply “have to move,” “have to head in a whole other direction, have to step out in faith that somehow we just “know” what we have to do. I “ought” to do something and I know it and I cannot NOT do this thing that I feel so ought-driven to do.We have to simply go. We sense we have to leave. We must make a break.My Own Journey of Being PushedI have experienced several of these kinds of defining moments in my life. Allow me to share five of these times of feeling what Jesus must have felt:

• When I first met Gwen at a party, I just “knew” that I would marry her. I did marry her. I felt compelled. I felt driven to pursue her with wild abandon. I am so glad I followed that inner sense of “oughtness.”
• When I came to the realization that I was not a card-carry denominational man. That I had never been comfortable with my roots anchored in a particular way or system that defined me; shaped me and molded my thinking that was truly not me. I left the denomination. There was such a clear, distinct sense of “oughtness” rising up ---that I discovered I could NOT –not do what this sense of being driven to do was telling me. I remember feeling that really, I had no choice in this. I would live a lie unless I left. There are many implications to think through in regard to this in today’s world.
• When I was preaching a sermon in the church that I led, I had a deep sense of feeling “pushed.” It was in the fourth Sunday worship service in a very large church and I had a sort of private, quick epiphany or panic attack perhaps which rose up with me and informed me saying “This is not you. This is not where you belong at all. I want you to get out.” I got out. I felt as if I was living in a smoke filled room and I could not breathe. I could not find my breath. I felt trapped. I felt like I was imploding or would implode if I did not “get out.” When I left, I began to breathe again and I came alive again—but in a different way than before. I felt really alive—like a sort of new birth.
• When my first grandchild was born and the subsequent birth of all of my grands, I sensed this same urging rising up with me. “Seize this role, Steve. Rise up and be the spiritual influence this child needs. This is your role. These people are your true legacy.” I was flooded about my real role in life and my real legacy that would define me as a man. IT was powerful and life-altering. Much of my “repositioning” today is a result of the tectonic plates of my inner world shifting. I suspect many of you can identity in some way, shape or form.
• I am having this same inner "pushing" right now as Gwen and I attempt to "reposition" our life and calling. We agree that we simply "must" do this for reasons we alone know and a deeper sense that this is right for us. We are not being pushed away or out.  It is an inner sense that we are recognizing as an invitation--not a commandment. We could ignore or suppress this. But at this stage of our lives, we feel a sense of "oughtness." We ought to do this and walk into a new chapter waiting on us.. a chapter off the 8-lane freeway of a busy ministry and to live the life we speak about, write about and want to live.

As you read my own accounts here, though brief and succinct, I wonder what may rise up with in you about having a similar sense of being “pushed” out to a whole new terrain—a brand new landscape that had your name on it and you did what we all have to do when this comes, we get up and enter this new place---that we don’t even know the real name of yet.The Wilderness We All Must Enter in LifeThis brings me to Mark’s words again of this place where Jesus was pushed to go. It’s called—wilderness. I once heard Eugene Peterson, Dallas Willard and Richard Foster state in unison and with one voice that “wilderness” is the predominate metaphor of the spiritual life. I remember a visceral reaction when what these three spiritual magnates were really telling me. I didn't like this lesson and what's more I resented them saying such a thing. But in time, I have come to agree. I believe what they shared is really true. I, along with each one of you, would need to embrace the idea and concept of wilderness to understand the spiritual journey. We would need to go into wilderness and let wilderness do what wilderness does to the soul.In wilderness, we are stripped down. We have to face our illusions that we may have long held to be true and right. We have to let the long days and lonely nights of wilderness begin to de-construct belief systems, rigid box like thinking and false narratives that we have clung to—thinking them to be really true—only to have our boxes fall apart. Things fall apart in the wilderness. Perhaps this is their God intended purpose.. We let go of things, hard-held beliefs and even convictions handed down to us by parents, political parties and denominations. We are stripped. We have to come to terms with a whole other reality that we discover and are, in fact, discovered by in wilderness times.Ask someone what they learned after their spouse died and a wilderness happened? Ask a corporate woman what they experienced after being fired from a highly esteemed job—a wilderness. Ask anyone who has failed at something they really wanted to accomplish in life. Ask anyone who has divorced a spouse having clung for so long that divorce would never be an option. Ask anyone who has lost a child. Ask anyone who as trekked into a wilderness uninvited, unwelcomed and unwanted. Ask anyone who has transitioned to another country and had to endure that long, lonely season of having no friend, no family; no church, no community and who has left all the food, people and place that comfort gives. We don't have to look far around or far within to find that wilderness is actually everywhere. As Paul says, we are always carrying the death of Jesus within us--even while we are living. Strange isn't it?  Not really.  Let me explain a bit more.Jesus was driven into a wilderness. And from this verse if we say we want to be followers of Jesus, we must embrace our own sense of being driven into wilderness times where we give up security, all that we know to be true and enter a deep, dark time of testing. It is the way of God for such times. Jesus could avoid it and never can we. We can’t go around a wilderness. WE can’t go over a wilderness. We can’t go under a wilderness. We all, just like Jesus, have to go through a wilderness.The movement of the spiritual life is moving and living; then moving into a wilderness--then emerging into a sort of "promised land".  This is the classical understanding of the spiritual life and it is really hinted at, if not explained here by Mark.Facing the Wild Animals WithinMark reminds us that the first things to show up in Jesus’ wilderness times were the wild animals. I recently read a study showing that in 1^st century Israel there really were no really “wild” animals. There were no loose and wild lions seeking to devour people. There were no bears. So what kind of “wild”animals was Mark referring to that confronted Jesus? A wild dog? Maybe. A herd of wild boars? Maybe. I’m not sure actually.But what I know is this. The wild animals that always seem to assault me are the inner ones. Voices of shame. Lamenting voices speaking about my failures. Wild voices that are self-condemning and always self-critiquing. They are always trying to literally pull me apart from the inside. It is these voices that always seem to show up for the hundreds of people I listen to when they are alone, hungry, afraid and tired from the journey of life. These wild voices seem to fall into one of three categories jeering us about what we have done; what we really want in life; and what will really satisfy us in life. Right here, in one of these three wild voices, we will be confronted with what we truly believe and about what is really true.It’s in these dark wilderness times that we make inner resolves about how we will stand in the face of such wild voices. This is what Jesus did. He resolved in each jeering taunt the truth that he knew and the truth that would compel him forward and out of the wilderness.In the contemplative life, we are offered a beautiful lesson. Those who want to live a life marked by inner peace and a sense of shalom are not immediately granted the fruits. It takes time---and I read this week a year of learning to transition is not too long to think about when we are leaving one place on our journey and entering a new one.  I can tell you that in my own journey and understanding, I have had to embrace the fact that my journey is taking a whole lot longer than I thought and even wanted. I must simply walk through some wildernesses to understand some of the fruit of the life I am hoping to cultivate. It takes time.Finally, Mark reminds us that after—and only after, he had gone into the wilderness and faced the wild beasts and even Satan himself—that Jesus would find comfort.  Comfort comes--that  is the good news for us. But it is in the wilderness that we find the comfort we actually want.Friends, these are important words that can encourage us right now in whatever desert we are living in or through. There is comfort. Mark tells us that the “angels attended him.” Other translations tell us that Jesus was cared for. Jesus was "ministered to"…that the angels "continually ministered to Jesus."  Think about this.  Comfort came and does come to us as well.As we move through our own wilderness times, there comes a sense that we are not alone; that we are not forsaken; that we are not in this by ourselves. We get to experience—and yes, the word I’m saying here is “experience” the loving comfort of the love of God. Perhaps this is what Paul had in mind when he says he literally “prayed” that we would experience a sense deep within us of God’s love. This kind of comfort, Paul explains “surpasses our understanding” (Ephesians 3:19). This is the kind of individual and personal ministry that God is about. This kind of beautiful, specific and unique comfort is what really defines the heart of God. It is the kind of love that we, my dear brothers and sisters are invited to taste as the beloved children of God. This is the kind of love and experience that actually defines the kind of God we love and serve today.At Potter’s Inn, Gwen and I have walked with many people who come to us in their defined time of wilderness. They are tired, worn out and beaten up by many things in life—including religion. But what we are witnesses to, is this: As they walk through their wilderness times---wilderness of their own vocational journey; wilderness times of feeling like mis-fits in church; wilderness times of being so worn down that they feel ‘dead on arrival’—that comfort comes. Peace is fostered. Inner contentment is realized. It’s uncanny and it’s true.I hope that this may encourage you in what ever circumstance you find yourselves in and that when you feel that are you are being ushered out and into a wilderness that you may remember Mark’s powerful, singular verse and may this one verse bring great hope to us all in a time of political, relational, ecclesiastical, vocational, or physical wilderness that we will have to walk through.If you’re in a wilderness defined by disease or diagnosis: take heed.If you are in a vocational wilderness and are living in the land of in-between, take heed.If you are a liminal space—a space of wilderness defined by geography, emotion or relationship, or even a spiritual wilderness-- take heed.There is movement. Trust the movement. Trust that comfort is on His way!

The Care of the Soul

The care of the soul is not a program to be mastered; not an agenda to be followed; not a curriculum in which we advance. The care of the soul is a way of life—a way taught by Jesus, followed by the early church, practiced in communities in the mid centuries and almost entirely forgotten and neglected by the modern church today.This way of life is a clarion call to pay attention to God in the world and in your own life. Soul Care is about awakening to what really matters in life—far, far more than monetary success, personal achievement and individual significance. The more modern we become, the more likely we are to both forget and ignore the old, ancient ways that we see in the Scriptures. In today’s world, we value the fast and swift; the busy and the one who can multi-task efficiently; the strong and convincing.  By returning to our roots, we find a whole, other way to live--a way the ancients knew and practiced--a way that brought them life in the midst of trials and tribulation. We need this hope today, don't we?Our souls are in need of great care because there is great violence happening in the world today and great violence in our inner lives. The world seems so thin—so much turmoil—so much disturbing us. We seem on the brink of war with so many. Our inner worlds are in turmoil too! We’ve become over-medicated; over stimulated and over committed. We can’t do it all. We can’t keep up. We’re not sleeping well anymore and there always seems to be a committee meeting happening in our minds when we try to be silent.  The expectations we care in our minds about our work, marriage, money, relationships and witness to the world can sink us. They are heavy, often conflicting with one another and sometimes confusing. We need help.[tweetthis]The care of the soul is a non-linear, fluid and kinder way of life.[/tweetthis] Soul Care has a predictable movement which involves these developments:- an awakening that we need to tend to our inner life.- a confession that we can’t do this on our own and that we need help.- a humility to become a beginner in something we’ve never been good at but need to master.- a guide to show us the way forward.Perhaps we need to just stop here and say that the reason why there is so much resistance to the care of the soul is because we are not really good at all at: awakening, confessing, being humble and realizing we need a guide. Our culture has shaped us into almost the exact opposite of each of these postures of the heart. We have been led to believe we are already the enlightened ones. We have no need of confessing anything because we feel we have not done anything wrong. We are stiff-necked not bowing to anything or anyone. Thinking that we are the real trail blazers we have no need of guide because there is simply no time to ask anyone for guidance.Caring for the soul is seen first and foremost in the life and teachings of Jesus, himself. Since he said, “I am the way…” we would do ourselves some good here if we remembered that the first followers of Jesus never called themselves “Christians.” They referred to themselves as the “followers of the way.” This is mentioned five times in the book of Acts alone.I’m sorry that the church, in general, is not much help here. Addicted to programs, attendance and performance, we must return to the ancient ways to find our own ways of doing our life. I lament this so often as I travel, experience and witness the unfolding of our American attempt to be the church.  Personally, I feel like we are on thin ice with our smoke machines, performance driven ways and spectator like methods of worship.  I'm so thrilled to share a new and just released resource with you here. Our friends, Mark and Carrie Tedder have now released a way for house churches, missionaries, those who travel; those who can't go to church--a new way to worship. It's called, "Scattered and Small" and you can view it here. It's a way to worship without the frills and trappings and for those who might want intimate, small and more reflective.  I am thrilled to discover churches that embrace the care of the soul for the sake of others as a basic tenet of their life. I'm so glad to say, I know of many and lift of the chalice of my life to greet their life.Throughout the history of our faith, individual men and women have stood up and stood against the tide of culture defining our faith and how to do our faith. Throughout time, there have always been individual voices beckoning us this way or that way and a part of caring for your soul is listening to the voices who speak with authority, clarity and conviction.  Perhaps, you might decide to start reading books published 100 years ago–for in these pages, you will find a more distilled voice–a voice that we can benefit from in today's modern world. Ancient wisdom still lives today and helps us today.Potter’s Inn is a resource to individuals who seek to care for their soul and then offer that same care to others. Our Aspen Ridge Retreat is a place people can come to be trained, receive guidance from our trained spiritual guides, and explore more resources we offer.To get started or to continue in the journey of caring for your soul, I’d like to suggest the following places to dig in:

1. Get and read, Embracing Soul Care and do a daily reading. Use it as couples, in small groups, with a friend or alone. There are short entries to grasp some new thinking. Also, consider reading Soul Custody. Use this as a guide because there is a short study at the end of each chapter.
2. Consider having a spiritual guide—a spiritual friend where you can enjoy conversations that are deep; life-giving and healing. At Potter’s Inn, we offer this through Skype, but also in person at the retreat.
3. Attend a retreat this coming year. Consider the Potter’s Inn hallmark retreat: The Soul Care Experience. It’s a five-day, guided retreat covering the life-giving themes of soul care. The May 2016 is almost full but there is room in the fall retreat in October.
4. Consider the Soul Care Institute, which is a two-year, cohort modeled training initiative led by seasoned veterans in the field of soul care.

Caring for your soul is a spiritual journey that has tremendous benefits for our physical life, our human bodies and minds–who always seem to beg for more!  It is a journey of the heart and mind, where a place of convergence begins to flow onward and inward.Blessings as you move onward and inward in the care of your soul this year!  

No Time to be Sad

“Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”- Jesus in Matthew 5:4 This is the age of superficiality. It is the age of skimming the surface of our lives without the notice of what is below the waterline.We are busy. We live fast and we are over-extended. There is so much going on above the waterline, how will we ever find the time to explore what is below the waterline? Just how does one stop and allow sadness to undo us when we are spinning all the plates of life, money, work and stress?Busy people send text messages when someone dies. There is no time to bake a pie. There is no time to give the hug that says more than words can ever communicate. We “Like” something on social media when we what we really want to say is that we don’t like it at all that you may be in a coma in the hospital and near your last breath. But a “like” or a text seems to do.[tweetthis]We do not mourn. We do not lament. We do not grieve. We have forgotten how to allow our sad hearts to bubble up to our overly made up external appearances.[/tweetthis] In Jewish culture, when someone died, people dressed in black for a whole year. That seems so endless—perhaps even ridiculous. We have parties and cookouts to attend. We have things to do; people to see and places to go.Yet in the midst of all of this living we try to do, Jesus turns the world upside down when he says, something very good will come from mourning that will in fact, bless you. I have to admit that sometimes, many of the teachings of Jesus seem like he is speaking in a foreign language—like Chinese. It seems so way out to say that there is a blessing that will come when we take the time to mourn. Is it Chinese?[tweetthis]When we take the time to allow our sad hearts to catch up with our breathless lifestyle we soon see that we are addicted to pleasure.[/tweetthis] Ours is the age is numbing pain, not entering it. Yet, Jesus calls us to not only enter pain but to realize that when we enter pain—either our own or someone else’s that a sheer, unadulterated comforted will be ours. Jesus is calling us to enter pain, not try to go around it and more, he says, by entering pain, we assuage it—or God does.There is no escaping suffering. Sooner or later it is going to bite us all on the butt and drop us to our knees. When we mourn this; when we slow down and recognize that suffering is one of the great ties that bind us all together as humans, then we stand on level ground. There are no hierarchy’s in pain. We all stand low; kneel low and beg low, don’t we?This past year, my own family has been baptized in the cesspool of pain. The death of a child—our grandson broke us. Some people texted us. All the texts made us more sad. Can I just tell you that texting or the use of social media is probably not the best form of entering someone’s pain. When my father died, someone who I thought knew better sent a text while I was putting my suit on to take my father’s body to the grave. Rather than be comforted, I was outraged. His text broke the frozen grief in my heart. I wanted to text back, “I don’t need your text. I need you!” But like so many times, I swallowed that grief only to see if morph into a distancing and emotional estrangement today—years later.Mourning is something even the church does not know how to do anymore. In our mega-ness, funerals are now happening in side rooms or no room at all. They are relegated to businesses that make a lot of money when we are most vulnerable. Some churches are so concerned with the lost, they have forgotten those who are lost in their grief.  For many, the state of the church is worthy of mourning and lamenting.This saddens me and sickens me. I mourn about our society. I mourn about so much that seems to be happening so quickly in our country. [tweetthis]I mourn that we seem to have lost our way and I am wondering---if not mourning-- that we may never find our way again and like Rome, perish and soon. I mourn that.[/tweetthis]I mourn that so many of the folks I know are now the unchurched—a label once thought only reserved for those who never went to church. Now, I am seeing more don’t then do. I mourn that.I mourn over a lion that was killed this week. I mourn over hearing the words of a Medical doctor employed by Planned Parenthood choosing to use the words, “crush” when it comes to the skill that is now implemented in an abortion. I mourn that.I mourn that my own children cannot live in the same community and have Sunday dinner’s together. I mourn that often we live in different countries, not counties. For me, I mourn that we cannot get together enough. We never will. Times have changed. We will not be there for the birth’s of our cousins; not be able to celebrate anniversaries; not able to light candles or eat sliced, ruby red watermelon on the 4^th of July. I mourn that.I mourn that my wife at 60 is having to work through the childhood issues of being raised in a Boarding School in Africa—that childhood issues become adult issues. I mourn that.I mourn that at my age I have found no way to slow time down. I only am a witness now of it's speed. I mourn this deeply. And with this mourning comes the realization that for me, one day soon, time will itself stop and I will pass like every other mortal life passes from this earth. I mourn this because I have loved my life.I mourn that I can’t call my Mom and ask her about what Dr. Oz (her favorite show) said on his TV show every day. She died. I miss her still. I mourn that. I don't know what Dr. Oz says anymore about anything. Does he ever tell us how healthy it is to mourn?There are so many things to mourn if we stop and and enter whatever it is that is happening---there is a deeper perspective. And this deeper perspective makes us love life, nourish life and protect life with every fiber in our body and soul.  When we get things "out" something else comes "in" and this is what Jesus and all the Biblical writers called--peace.  To get things out is to mourn whether it is the giving out of a tear, a groan, a sigh or a blog.I have never found any better words than these to help us understand the power of mourning:  [tweetthis]When life is heavy and hard to take, Go off by yourself, Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions; Wait for hope to appear. Don’t’ run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Lamentations 3:28-30[/tweetthis] (I have been living in the Beatitudes of Jesus for a year and am just now blogging about the insights, gold and comfort I am finding in them.)

The Place in My Heart

 There is a place in my heart that I’ve been renovating. It’s been a crowded, noisy and daunting space that has needed much attention. I’ve tried conferences, books, seminars and such where I have learned tips and techniques that promised to help me with my life transformation. All have failed me, save one.I remember thinking that peace was a place somewhere on an island with a beautiful sandy beach with tropical trees and drinking coconut juice from cracked open husks. But I realized as you have also, that as we pack our bags to visit such places that our dirty laundry and inner chaos goes with us. No matter how serene the setting, the interior life can wreak havoc.People use to call their church buildings “sanctuaries.” God knows we need a sacred space to go to from time to time in this busy world we are living in today. But even that word is going the way of the dinosaur. We have stages today, not pulpits; auditoriums, not sanctuaries. We’re terrible confused—we modern people who have come so far, but feel so terribly lost. We are still in search of sacred space—a place where the heart can call home.The old monastics built places in the woods to retreat from the world’s noise. These little cabins were called “hermitages” and a Russian word—“Poustinia.” They were small places—simple spaces with no distractions, no competing sources of entertainment. They were rustic. Simple. Inviting. Safe.So, this year, our ministry has set out to build a Poustinia at our retreat in Colorado. It’s a small 12x16 log sided cabin with a green metal roof where you can hear the rain as you gaze out on Pike’s Peak, a snow capped mountain today over 14,000 feet in the air. There’s a small covered porch where one rocking chair will be placed. This little cabin in the woods is the modern day answer to the modern day plague that has infected the beautiful souls of we—the modern, wired and always “on” people. To be clear, I am one of you. I am not a monk nor am I thinking of becoming one.But one thing I do know, the building of the Poustinia for me, is an outward symbol of an inner reality that is going on inside of me. As the Poustinia is taking shape, I feel the same thing happening in me. My soul is taking shape. It would seem like I would and perhaps should have gotten my soul in shape by now. But in all honesty, it takes a long time for a saint to be made.My Poustinia is really a space within me. It is a space I need to build to connect with God; to relax in my own skin and to be my true self. It is a place of solitude where all of the insanity and chaos of this world, all of the “giddy-up” and let’s hurry faster is left outside. It is a place of shalom—that place of well-being where at last I can be with God and God with me. By going to the little cabin in the woods, I am really on a journey to go to the Poustinia within me—that place that Jesus described so aptly as a closet where you can at last be alone. Be quiet. Be still and know God at last.Competing demands; rivaling priorities and inner chaos flood our lives every single day. We seek balance but know in the end that balance is truly bunk. The journey to go to the Poustinia is a journey that every spiritual master I have ever read about has taken—and has taken alone.Our Poustinia, will have one chair, one table, one bed, one tiny wood burning stove and windows to look out and space to look inside. It is sacred space and in my heart that sacred space is being born.In her remarkable book, “Poustinia: Encountering God in Silence, Solitude and Prayer” which has mentored me in this understanding, Catherine Doherty says, “...you have, as it were, a poustinia within you. It is as if within you there were a little cabin in which you and Christ are very close; it is with this attitude that you go about your business. God forbid that you should all become recluses or hermits! That is not what is meant by being a Poustinik in the marketplace. It means that within yourselves you have made a room, a cabin, a secluded space. You have built it by prayer.You should be more aware of God than anyone else, because you are carrying within you this utterly quiet and silent chamber. Because you are more aware of God, because you have been called to listen to him in your inner silence, you can bring him to the street, the party, the meeting, in a very special and powerful way. The power is his, but you have contributed your fiat. He has asked you and chosen you to be the carrier of that silent poustinia within yourself.”So, we are all building a place within our hearts, aren't we?  That is precisely what the work of spiritual formation is all about. More room for Jesus.  That he might increase and I decrease. Let the renovation continue! Copyright@ 2014 Stephen W. Smith. All Rights Reserved.  You may "share" this post but not copy for distribution. Thank you.  Important Note:  All of  our retreats are fully booked for the remainder of the year. We will SOON be announcing news of 2015 retreats and our brand New Soul Care Institute, a two-three year training program.

Manifold Wisdom--Manifold Church

“His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms,  according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Ephesians 3:10-11 My life has been about the church. I have lived all of my life within the church. My folks starting taking me to church at six weeks of age and I have not stopped going since.But here’s the truth. I have not always liked the church. I’ve seen beautiful people marred by the church and within the work of the church, I have seen people shoot the wounded, not help them. They have hemorrhaged and bled and been wounded only to find people within the church still kick, abuse and kill them in God’s holy halls.  But the paradox is this, I have also loved the church--loved and been lost in the work of the church--loved the positive, good and noble purposes of the healthy church led by healthy leaders.I have been on a journey in my recent years of understanding the church. I watched my own four adult children join me on this journey—because they, like me were raised in the church as well. I call myself a “recovering Baptist.” I’m recovering in most areas of my life where I messed up.  Recently, more light has been shed into my path regarding the nature of the church and the  nature of its leaders.In working with thousands of leaders who work in the church, I’ve grown weary, tired and disillusioned to be honest. I’ve witnessed so much abuse by men who wear robes and leaders who wear authority that I’ve grown suspicious. Yes, suspicious is a good word to describe my taking a step back and evaluating the relevance, the need, the look and feel of the church in the 21^st century.To say that I stumbled upon a verse in the Bible is not the correct way of telling you what shifted my entire paradigm about the church today. This verse had been there all along—throughout the entire birth of the church until this very day. It’s just that I missed it. I overlooked it on my way to find what I felt might be even more verses to help me and to help others.Ephesians 3:10-11 leaped out at me and has nearly knocked me unconscious. “The manifold wisdom of God.” I have sat with that word—“manifold”—trying my best to figure out precisely what Paul intended by choosing such a word.The word “manifold” means: “having many different forms, features, or elements: manifold breeds of dog.”   The manifold wisdom of God regarding the wisdom within and about the church is just this: The church too has many different forms, features and elements just as the breeds of the species we call dogs.Because of my work—the work with leaders who feel called to live their life; do their life and give their life because of the church, I’ve seen passionate leaders feel like their church is the right church; the only church; the best church; the hippest church; the most multi-sited church, the largest; the fastest growing and then it morphs into something darker. Every church should be like my church. Since I am with the right church, then everyone else is experiencing something less; something outside of God’s intent. It goes on, as you know.Pride, authority and a seminary education can create the perfect storm for leaders of the church to suffer a malady that infects their own soul and the ministry to which they feel called.Some leaders might feel like their church, call it a blue church, is the way to do church. You have to think blue. You have to be blue. You have to hang with blue people to really be in the blue movement.Then in another state; perhaps another city or even across the street are the orange folk who think and feel exactly the same way that the blue folks do in the blue church. Then there is the red church. The green church and yes, even a pink church.But now, let’s use this word “manifold” here…. And see if we can ease our tension a bit by embracing that from God’s perspective, it is not about the right color. And what is this is true because from God’s perspective there is no right color. There are just a manifold of colors—all seeking to do the same thing but in different ways. Who can say that blue is right and red is wrong?  The colors just are. The church just is--and is in every form we find it.As some of you will know, no person on the face of the earth, living or dead has impacted my life more than that of Dallas Willard. It was Dallas who told me years ago when I went to a Catholic (Is Catholic a color?) Monastery with him for a month to recover from my toxicity and my addiction of being a pastor, “Steve, Jesus only spoke the word, “church” two times in his entire life that we know of. Why have you made “church” your God?” That question undone me and I have never, ever recovered from his question. I don’t think I will ever recover either. Perhaps now, 20 years later, I am just now beginning to understand the depth’s of Dallas Willard’s question to me in that Prayer cell were monks fled to do their own version of church.Now, there is more wisdom…. And it is this, if you are in a blue church and I am in a red one, can we surrender our efforts to compete against, degrade and throw rocks at the people who do their life in a yellow church?Perhaps from God’s perspective, it takes all the reds and hues of red; all the blues and hues of blue; all the yellow and hues of yellow to express what God has intended. Perhaps this is so because no human system has dibs on the truth. Not the Lutherans, not the Presbyterians, not the Charismatics, not the Bible-believing-fundamentalist, not even my church or your church. We lay down our efforts to defend our color church and we surrender our dogmas to the fact that in history and through history—no creed has survived in all colors but Jesus. No book has been lifted higher than our Bible. No god has been worshipped but our God—the God who created the manifold ways in which we try every six days to “gather to gather to ask the Lord’s blessings. We hasten and chasten his truths to make known.”Stephen W. SmithCopyright 2014All Rights Reserved.   

The Eight Virtues We Most Need Today

By Stephen W. Smith

This post is my attempt to try to define what "faith" means.  The foundation for this post is the ladder that Peter describes that followers of Jesus should ascend in life to rise above the brokenness of the world; the collapse of our values; the implosion of ethics and the competing religions of our day.  To put this in context, read Peter's words here, then go on to read the blog entry:

"So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books."--2 Peter 1:5-7.

My intent here is to redefine each of Peter's 8 virtues so needed today.

The first is faith.

Peter’s first rung on the ladder we are to ascend is faith. Currently there are over 44,000 different Christian denominations all trying to define what “faith” means. There are various creeds and doctrines all seeking to say what is absolutely essential to believe. It’s embarrassing and humbling to realize that there are so many schisms, splinters and sects all fiercely holding to their own version of what faith really means.

Even here, I will perhaps please some and perhaps offend all, but let me try to explain what I believe Peter intended.  First, it may come as a shock to you to read here that Jesus Christ was not a Christian. It’s clear from reading the four eye witness accounts of Jesus life and teachings, that Jesus Christ never intended to begin a new religion. He came to begin a new way of life. 

His first followers were never called Christians either. They were all called, “followers of the way.”[1]  The way Jesus signaled to walk was  a way that was far, far different from the rival religions of his day.  Jesus, as the leader of this new way called for people to follow him in this new way of life and living. He mentored those who he called to follow him. They spent time with him.[2] Through spending time together, they learned how radically different the way of Jesus actually was. It was a way that would require them to embrace a Kingdom view of life—not just follow a list of rules and regulations.

Jesus never called people to embrace Christianity as we know it today. He called people to walk in a brand new way of life that would be radical; consuming and risky. It was not a way to be comfortable but a way to make the comfortable uncomfortable by making radical calls about their possessions, relationships and ethics.

Since Peter was one of the first people that Jesus called into this new way of living, Peter knew and understood quite well that to be a follower of Jesus was to be a person of faith that trusted Jesus, followed Jesus and one that would attempt to live like Jesus.  This way involved the formation of a character, conscience and faith that would be like the founder’s—Jesus.

To be a follower of Jesus did not mean so much a list of beliefs as we have wrongly assumed today. To follow Jesus meant the transformation of one’s character, ethics, way of thinking; values and life’s goals.  This is the faith—Peter is calling us to have.

The “faith” that Peter is saying that  is so very foundational is about a way  of life not a list of doctrines and dogma. Peter really had no doctrines, nor did Paul in the early beginnings of the history of the Christian church. There was no list of beliefs; no doctrinal statements that the thief on the cross who was crucified with Jesus had to sign off on.  It was simply a way—a way of life characterized by being reconciled with God; reconciled with one another in a new way of relating that was based on love and most importantly—that this new way become THE way that the global community should embrace and attempt to walk in this way.

Let me be clear. This history of what has happened on this way and to this way that Jesus first so clearly defined and unpackaged for us has become cloudy, murky and unattractive. How could Peter who first encountered Jesus naked in a fishing boat come to wear the garb of a pope?  How could the early followers of Jesus who huddled first in homes morph into mega-churches today? How could such a simple, yet radical “way of life” become something churches fight over and within the walls of our own churches disagree so much about today?  How could the American church keep quiet about the Holocaust in World War II and how could the world wide church be so silent about the atrocities done to innocent Rwandans in the Clinton presidency? How could denominations squabble over so little when our world seems bent on sliding into the abyss of a hell-like state.  There are many, many questions to our sad and fragile history and most of the questions expose our ineptness in truly getting what Jesus must have intended.  But this does not mean that we throw the baby out with the bath—so to speak.

The way of life—the way Peter was called to walk by Jesus is the same way that you and I are called to follow. Peter never meant the faith in a list of doctrines to be our foundation in life. He never meant a creed to be our cement. The faith Peter describes is the faith he must have recalled he had to exercise when Jesus himself, called him to leave a boat intended to fish for mere fish—only now to be one who would walk in the very way that the founder walked in.  This way for Peter actually meant to die a death like his founder in that Peter met his death being also crucified but reported to have been nailed to a cross up-side down—an act of total humiliation and retribution.  We walk this way, step by step—the exact steps that Peter described earlier in this first epistle when he said, “This is the kind of life you’ve been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.”  Pete’s “step-by-step” way was what he was referring to in his rungs on the ladder he now describes in the passage we are working through here.

This “faith” is more action than belief; more movement than institution; more passion than liturgy; more personal than corporate; more a way than a membership in a church; more a ethos  than a church.

This is the exact “faith” that is needed to re-define success. It is this faith that shapes one’s legacy. It is this faith that keeps one from perpetually chasing the bitch-goddess of success.

This DNA kind of faith is what is essential to living above the white-water of competing morals and shouts from the masses to go along with the crowd and do what others are doing. It is this precise kind of faith that gives one the “gravitas” to stand firm; to perhaps stand tall in the minority and to stand firm in the mudslide of 21^st century implosion of values. This “faith” is what is absolutely foundational to both our well-being and any attempt we have to have an impact on the plethora of other ways we are faced with to live; to do business; to do church and to truly follow the way of Jesus.

 Copyright 2013. Stephen W. Smith. All Rights Reserved. This material is a part of a forth coming book written by Stephen W. Smith.

I invite your comments, reactions and recommendations~

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[1] See Luke’s account of this in his book named, “Acts” in the New Testament: Acts 9:2; 19:9,23;22:4; 24:14,22).

[2] Mark 3:14

Tis' the Season of Despair and a Time for Waiting

Never before in my life, have I personally witnessed so much despair in the lives of so many people.  The economy has been depressed and depressing for five long years now.  It seems so many wonderful people are struggling on a daily basis to keep their head above water.  Most are struggling. Many are stumbling.  Collectively, we are surviving but few could honestly say they are thriving. We are still in a war. Politics offers few answers and little hope. And then there's the church which pretends  as if nothing is really wrong and holds to sameness, gripping its collective fear of change and moving ever so close to the cliff of no return.Five years ago this week I led a retreat for white collar workers in Denver. I asked the question, “How many of you are living with more fear in your life than at any other time?”  Every hand was raised.  Today, as I travel, speak and work one on one with leaders both in the market place and the ministry, fear is the predominate descriptor of emotion that most people I work with are expressing. Truly, we are living in a most sobering time--a season calling for deep searching and few answers. It doesn't matter if we are white collar or blue. Democrat or Republican-- American or African---we are quivering in our boots in an unparalleled season of floundering without breakthrough and endurance rather than hope.Allow me to be honest and transparent.  All of this takes a tremendous toil on a small ministry where we seek to raise our support year after year to be a resource to leaders both in the business world and ministry sphere who themselves are struggling. I have my own questions. Can we survive? Will we make it? Is there something--anything I can possibly do that would help?We are in “it” together. We are waiting for a better time. We are hoping to turn the corner to a time when so much struggling, work and effort to stay alive, sustain our lives and experience a fulfillment of a dream, a hope and a vision.Friends, this is precisely what “ADVENT” is all about. Advent is a season of expectant waiting for something to happen that will turn the table and improve our most desperate situation. Most followers of Jesus wrongly assume that being saved is a once in a life-time event. But life teaches us that we need to be saved from MORE than just our sins. We need to be saved from despair. We need to be saved from coming unglued. We need to be saved from merely surviving to experiencing a robust sanity in life.The coming four weeks of Advent are weeks to move away from the commercialization and sick emphasis on materialism as the answer to our dilemma. Advent is the intentional waiting on God to show up and do something about our sick condition. Many followers of Jesus are unaware of the practice of Advent. We’re throw the baby of this important season out with the water to be relevant and “seeker friendly.”  In doing so, we have found ourselves more caught up than ever before in Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Depressing December year-ends. Returning to Advent is the beginning of a new way to look at life. Take each week and simply light a candle each Sunday marking the long, awaited wait for the Day that God will finally appear. Each week, watch your mantel, coffee table or dining table grow brighter and brighter with light. Isn’t that what we want—more light; more hope; more progress. The candles of Advent literally show us the way forward through the long, dismal season of darkness.  Here’s a link to one of the best resources I am aware of that helps us embrace not scorn this important season: http://www.adventconspiracy.org/If you find yourself nodding your head in agreement to what I  have written here, you are not alone.  Read my opening sentence again. Many of us are struggling. Advent is an important part of the answer.  Let me encourage you to consider the practice of having a  small advent wreath in your home or use an Advent calendar—perhaps even before you decorate a Christmas Tree. I believe movement in a spiritual direction will help.  The Bible simply says, “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.”This season, make daily efforts to mark this season different from other ones. Be with friends. Choose to attend services where Advent is practiced  and learn something. Perhaps, it’s not about finding a new church but finding a new way to worship God this season.  Choose to live Advent and turn the despair from disillusionment to hope.  Hope in God to turn our ways to His ways.Here’s my prayer everyday in this season of Advent waiting:“Lord, Help me to receive what you give, release what you take, lack what you withhold, do what you require and be who you desire.”

This Holy Place

Two Saturday's ago, I was sitting in a beautiful day retreat with John Blase. It was a day of reading poetry and writing poetry. For some strange reason, I've been drawn to poems.  The brevity instead of prose makes me drawn to shorter expressions, brief insights into the world and into my soul.  For the last 10 years, this window has been open to me and I've found myself very glad.  This week, I got Mary Oliver's brand new book of poetry (A Thousand Mornings) and on this rainy and cold Saturday morning, I've sat here reading and being drawn into Oliver's insights and I'm the better for it.John Blase encouraged us to take 30 minutes and write a poem--or start one based on a word or phrase we found in a book he gave us to peruse.  So, I took my book and went outside at our retreat and sat in a rocking chair basking in the morning Colorado Sun.  Then it happened.  I found on a page, a phrase which stopped me... it was simply this...."This Holy Place."In my work with so many church leaders, I often hear the laments of the broken church. Some hate it now. Some are leaving it. Some are sick and tired of it.  I have my own struggles.  And in that rocking chair, I was able to give words to my own thoughts about my church.I"ll share my new poem with you here. It somehow brought my feelings out into the open and gave me a way to express this holy place called church--at least my church that I am discovering.  The high priest I refer to are the poets that have most inspired me, motivated me, transformed me and mentor me. This Holy Placeby Stephen W. Smith There are no stained glass windows here.Only the gold of the Aspens and the cathartic blue of heaven's skies.Yet, this is a holy space.And in my heart, I am bowing. The high priests swing their incense,And it is the words that sway me--that slay me.No candle burns here but my heart alone.and I feel ignited. I am burning--finally burning. The open book is my Eucharist.The wafer offered me by Oliver, Frost and Whyte.My cup is the poem of words that draw blood.Words that wound. Words that heal. This place--this moment is my churchand I belong. I am free. And I am at rest.The words--they do baptize my wondering heartto come home. To finally know this place as church.

Living the Life You Want To Live

Does it sound selfish---I mean to ask  yourself this kind of question: What kind of life do you want to live?  Let's talk about this for a few moments today.  Do I want my life to be driven by others?  Steered by others?  Fueled by busyness?  Fulfilling lists and obligations?  How can we move into living an intentional life ripe with longings fulfilled; living with no regret and challenged by living with a greater purpose than survival?I'm thinking through some categories of how I will answer this question. Categories are really helpful to help me break this question down and really try to answer the question.For example...my health will matter in the answer. I want to be healthy. So learning to choose and make healthy choices will be important in living the life I most want to live. I don't want to die early by making bad and unhealthy choices. So, health will be a category of how I want to live. I want to live in a healthy way will mean that I must eat in healthy ways. I must also choose to invest time in my body to exercise and to move more.  So, to answer the question, of what is the life I want to live will mean facing this category straight on and make some adjustments.Here's another category I'm thinking through.  I have had many roles in my life.  I've been a pastor, author,counselor, spiritual director, husband, father, brother and son.  What roles do I want to continue to serve in for my future which is both near and dear. Some of my roles, I need to give up and other roles I will want to assume. I noticed on Facebook that one of my friends changed their title of their Facebook page to Author John Doe.  That was interesting to me to look at and figure out if I liked that for myself. I don't--even though I've authored six books now. I'm more than an author.  In the life I want to live, what roles are the most important? What roles do I sense a calling--a voice telling me to "Do this...or do that..."  What MUST I do with my one and ordinary life is the focus question.Place is another category. Where do I want to live my only life I will ever be given. I settled this question 12 years ago because I decided I wanted to live in the West...where there is drama in the panorama of what I look at. I was tired of heat, humidity and the Bible belt...so with this in mind, we moved. It was costly. We sacrificed family ties and traded them for geographical beauty.  Place matters alot to many people. Where do you really WANT to live?Community is an important category. Who do you want to live out your life with in the next 5-10 years? I'm facing this question head on now. In our move to the retreat, we're leaving being spontaneous in calling a friend and saying "Let's meet for dinner." Now, it's an hour drive. It cost gas money now and it takes time to drive down. So, we are thinking our new community will be fostered, developed and nurtured in whole new ways. We will have to re-think some things.  We're realized that every relationship that is NOT reciprocal is not a relationship we will choose to invest in for friendship sake. Reciprocal living is one of the greatest Biblical values---all the 5o plue "one another" statements in the Bible only underscores the longing to live life out with a few people who can love and be loved; touch and be touched; celebrate and be celebrated.   So this category will force me to re-think what  I will do about my groups, my dearest friends and even my church.Family is a category to think through carefully. Who really is our family?  I now live 1500 miles from my sons, my mother, my sister and my only brother. Jesus said that "Whoever does the will of my Father is my sister and brother."  That's a big statement to ponder. In my case, I have felt ties to family re-ignited. I've wanted to close old gaps. I've wanted old hurts healed. I've wanted the space between me and the ones I loved closed so that their are no longer huge emotional gaps and questions. What other categories would you suggest to think through in fostering the life you most want to live?  What have I left out that seems blatantly obvious to you?