There are at least five benefits of taking time off and being away. I'm talking about the wonderful deposits we place into our souls when we take a vacation. I’m returning from four weeks off of work. Four weeks might seem like an extravagance that you cannot afford. I understand that. But for me—for us—we simply had to take this time off and had to be away. Here’s why…
Read moreNavigating the Crazy Times of Life
I am living in a “in-between time.” I have not fully arrived to the next place in my journey. It is a place of ‘betwixt and between.’ It is a hard place. It is a nominal space—a space that native American Indians called, “crazy time.” I understand that. When you live in an “in-between time”-- it feels crazy. Nothing seems to make sense—even God. Such places--such seasons of life can leave us torn, tired and weary. We can feel like something is going to happen--but not yet.
Read moreWhy Leaders Fall
One of the great needs in the market place and in the spheres of ministries is for the leaders of both businesses and organizations to have leaders that live an examined life. An examined life is a life where the heart is probed not only for giftedness and abilities but, also for the stuff within that is deeper and mostly unexamined in today’s MBA programs and many divinity schools.
As I've said else where "shine and show" are not fruits of the Spirit and they are not what makes leadership healthy. We sub-comb to "shine and show" when we do not look deeper; when we do not examine the quadrants of the heart of a leader. Looking deeper requires wisdom. Looking deeper requires sage like probing and listening more to what is not said, than what is said explicitly.An examined life is a life that Socrates told us that is a life truly worth living. He said, "An unexamined life is not worth living." And his words apply to leadership. An unexamined leader is dangerous.
Read moreSoul Friends
One of the deepest needs we have as human beings is our need for companionship. It is not good for us to be alone all the time. We were made in the image of God. Being made in God’s image does not mean that we look like God but that we can become like God. We can act like God acts. We can manifest the virtues and qualities that are innate in God’s own being. We become like God when we learn to live a shared life—a life of soul friending.
We live in a world that makes soul friending hard. There’s not enough time to be a friend or have a friend. We are busy trying to survive—to make the ends meet with the threads of our lives that we are trying to bring together. One of the great costs of living in an always on; always available culture is that we neglect the deep needs of the soul—the need to share our lives in meaningful and momentous ways. Our attempts to merely survive through life’s demands and pressures is to ignore the deepest part of our selves—the part that seeks connection—the part that says, we are not alone, after all.
Read moreExploring an Ancient Way of Leadership for Modern Times
What you are going to read is the fruit of my work with leaders in ministry. I've spent over forty years in the grass root ways of leadership, mainly in the local church but for the past twenty years, in providing soul care for leaders who serve in the market place and ministry.
As the world has changed so much and with increasing speed and erosion of some core values, we are all the witnesses to implosions in churches as well as organizations and including politics. It is a systemic disease and what I have called in the past a "cult of leadership" that is converging with other concerning factors about the state of the soul; the state of the church and the state of the world. See that article here!I have spent considerable time in my work with leaders on nearly all of the continents.
Read moreWhat is Soul Care and Why is Soul Care Important?
Soul Care is caring for the whole person. Every part of our lives matters. Everything about us needs care. Everything that is alive needs and requires care. Plants, animals, our bodies and our souls need care to thrive. You are not the exception. We cannot live our lives on auto-pilot—running our lives on empty feeling tired, depleted and upset and call this experience—the abundant life.
Soul Care is about sustaining life and providing ancient pathways to experience true life! We are not machines. For a life of meaning; a life that is sustainable; a life that is worthy to be lived—care is required. Care is the intentional practice of giving attention, grace, love and foster resiliency.Soul Care is the intentional practice of integrating all aspects of the human experience: physical, relational, emotional, sexual and vocational. These core aspects of our human existence form the real me—the real soul of a person. Each area needs care. Each area needs attention. As the Christian writer, C.S. Lewis says, “You do not have a soul. You are soul.”
Read moreThe Perfect Storm of Leadership
Out there, just over the horizon, a storm is brewing. This storm is not a political storm. It is not a cultural war. It is a storm brewing deep within the soul of many leaders who serve in the marketplace or ministry arenas. We cannot see the storm now—at least our own storm—but it is brewing.Due to the Internet and social media, we hear of storms taking down leaders and leaving carnage and havoc in their spheres of influence. It is a hidden, present danger that confronts leaders in the marketplace and ministry. It is what I call the perfect storm of leadership.A “Perfect Storm” happens when several weather systems all converge making a super storm; a massively destructive powerhouse of a storm. Perfect Storms in the leader’s life happen when dark, powerful forces converge within the soul of the leader.
An unholy convergence of factors creates this Perfect Storm; the storm that threatens the landscape of leadership and the personal internal world of leaders today.
Read moreDiscerning Day By Day
Discernment is not just an activity one engages with when we are seeking clarity on the big decisions of life such as: “Should I marry Bob? Or “Should I move to California to take this specific job? Or, “Should I attend this church or that church.
”Discernment begins with practicing experiencing God each and every day. The foundation of all discernment is the belief that God cares about the day to day “business” of our every day life. Discernment helps us to see and experience God in all things.Dailiness is where the wheel hits the road of our lives and it is in the mundane stuff of our daily lives as well as the significant events that happen to us in our days where we long for our own transformation. We want to see God at work, don’t we? Don’t we want to witness the movements of God in our every day lives? It is also where we have the opportunity to grow in our own awareness that God is moving and at work—whether we are aware of God’s movement or not. Our goal in discernment is to grow in our awareness—to wake up, so that we do not miss what God is up to in our lives and in our world. Just as Jeremiah told us that God’s mercies are “new every morning,” (Lamentations 3:23), our invitation is to be aware of these new mercies.
Read moreMy Copernican Revolution: How Everything Changed
My Copernican revolution began in 1996 when I had the privilege of spending a month with Dallas Willard in a Catholic monastery in California. How I got there is a story I have told. But what happened to me in that monastery is what changed my life forever. Let me explain.
Nicolaus Copernicus was an astronomer who discovered in the 16th century, that the sun was at the center of the universe, not the Earth. This changed everything and the ripple effect of his discovery continues to this day. It was revolutionary because his discovery changed and impacted the way people saw the world; experienced a shifting in their understanding and radically altered the way people thought about life. My Copernican Revolution began when I heard that I was a soul and that I had an interior life that needed my attention.
Read moreWhy I spent a year of my life doing the Ignatian Exercises
In January 2017, I decided to invest an entire year of my life on the journey in discernment (doing the Ignatian Exercises). I found myself at a critical crossroad. My work, my marriage, my heart needed attention and care. The future felt looming and did not excite me.I decided to do an ancient, year long, proven way of deepening my own heart and experience with God that helped me; renewed my heart and is rekindling love in my marriage. I think I've morphed into a new place; a new space and a new way of living my life and expressing my faith.I did this because:
as I aged—my answers and boxes were not working or fitting me or others anymore. Old paradigms were crumbling. I was de-constructing.
as I worked and poured my life into others—I needed to be poured into;
as my marriage also aged, we both saw thin spots-- with sounds of the ice cracking around us. We needed deep renewal and rekindling or we would not end well. We were not coupling well. We admitted that something was wrong.
as I contemplated my future being relatively healthy, yet acknowledging my inner weariness—I needed to find some answers about my next stage.
I needed to find some answers to questions that seemed to have plagued me nearly all of my life. I felt unsettled in thinking about repositioning my life but unsure how to do what I wanted to do.
Motivated by these questions and certain disillusioning events that had happened in a key staff relationship at my work, I felt like I was at my end. I well recall telling our Board, “I’m done. I cannot go on. I’ve hit a wall and I will not recover from this impact.”
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