For too long, I have greatly under-estimated the sheer power of listening to people--of hearing so many sad stories. Yes, it is a part of my work--it is my vocation to hear such things. But in the hearing now, I am also listening to myself say a new prayer after such long, hard and sometimes very dark work of helping--of rescuing; of counseling and offering spiritual guidance.I've returned from an intense time of such work. I've re-entered my life now--having left so many folks I sat with in recent days. Now, I must do my own work of cleansing--my own work of restoration--my own soul care.Everyone who cares--needs care. So, this prayer is something I've written to help me leave the burdens I carried for others in recent days and weeks. It is my own way of doing some inner work of cleansing and confession. I hope it might be an encouragement to those who care and for those in need of the care of their own souls. A Prayer of Recovery for all who have Tried to Help-Stephen W. Smith Dear God, I have entered the dark in search of the light. Bring your light into the dungeon so that I can find my way back out. It has been dark—very dark. Show me your light. Let me see my way to you once again.I have searched O Lord to find hearts that are lost; souls that feel trapped, minds that are enslaved and I am weary because of it. Restore unto me, your comfort and care. I need your footing to find my way back out.I have sought to throw a lifeline to those in peril and because of this, I now need your lifeline for me. Grip me and pull me through lest I feel abandoned myself. The weight of their issues can bring me down. I can trip on all the grave clothes found and untied. Show me the way back out.I am unaware of what I soak into my own soul in such places; in hearing such sadness. My heart has been too much like a sponge soaking in their pain and I feel their pain and my own. Have mercy upon me, O Lord. In attempting to stop their bleeding, please, O Lord stop my own. Their hemorrhage has caused me to do the same. I feel messy. Cleanse me, O Lord. They hurt and I have hurt for them; with them. I now need to lay their hurt aside and find my own heart once again. Please help me.Rid me of a cloak of despair. Let me shed the grave clothes of others and walk into the Light. Free me from the tomb and the shackles of others so that I might run once again in freedom and joy.Where there has been evil, now bring me to peace.Where there has been so much despair, now sow seeds of joy within me.Where there has been buffeting waves where we only feel the deep, bring me to the ground of my being—the Ground of Your Being.Help me to sense the crowd of witnesses who now surround me and to hear their encouragement. Help me now to rest for great has been the battle.The greatest cheer I seek to hear is your delight--not in my work--but in my being. My work is done but I am not done. I will go on. I want to recover. Speak and I will recover. Say the word, and I will come back to life. Make me attentive today among the timbered trees, rushing wind and birds that sing of the song of life once again. Sing of your delight and I will once again praise your name. Amen
Welcoming Myself Back to Work
Never have I found a more appropriate prayer for my first day back to work after a long sabbatical than the Welcome Prayer by Father Thomas Keating. At the first reading, you might be tempted to say, "What a nice prayer." And then move on. But Gwen and I have sat with this prayer on an intentional basis for the past few months. We have attempted to excavate the meaning and suck the marrow out of each phrase and sentence.It is rich. It is deep and it is transformational.Here it is:The Welcoming Prayer (by Father Thomas Keating)Welcome, welcome, welcome.I welcome everything that comes to me todaybecause I know it's for my healing.I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons,situations, and conditions.I let go of my desire for power and control.I let go of my desire for affection, esteem,approval and pleasure.I let go of my desire for survival and security.I let go of my desire to change any situation,condition, person or myself.I open to the love and presence of God andGod's action within. Amen.To Welcome this day, our first day back to work means to enter this with no regret, apprehension or fear. It, the first day, the first week and the first season is for me. It is for my good. It is not for my demise.For my healing... returning to my work is also a part of my healing and transformation as much as our season of rest has been. Now, I can live out of the fruit of what has been gathered. I can also begin to integrate these precious truths into my work--not just my time off.The Welcoming of all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations and conditions---means for me, that I believe in a God that is good and is not ought to bring me down or to step back and watch my life spin out of control. God is vested in the process of everyday encounters.I let go--much of my work over sabbatical has been right here. To learn how to let go and to release things, people, my past and my future into the hands of God. Knowing that I cannot control these things helps me to learn to loosen my grip. The three sentences in the prayer that speak of "letting go" really are the three temptations of Jesus: the temptation for power; the temptation for approval; the temptation for security. I, too, will work through these temptations as I work--and being tempted to lean into each of these areas to find love, approval and security. To let go--is my daily business.I open myself---believing in a God who is good and who loves me allows me to become open. I open myself to the love and goodness of God. It is my intention to live each day in this posture and I consent to my participation of the work of my transformation.I posted this book on Facebook recently and got many "likes." Now, I regret doing it. I don't think this prayer or perhaps any prayer can simply be liked. The Welcome Prayer undoes us. I truly believe that this prayer can't be just read and put down. It will mess with you. It has with me. And isn't this, perhaps, the greatest purpose of prayer?